WILLIAMSBURG — A stunning horde of fine woodcraft was discovered over the weekend. It was well concealed within dusty old chunks of poplar wood at Snow Farm, a craft school nestled in the Ancient Western Massachusetts hill towns. Four fine woodworkers made the discovery, some of whom did not know they were woodworkers until Sunday.
“I’m so happy” remarked one artisan. “It’s a real treasure” said pyrography and woodcrafting guide Theo Fadel, “The Black Forest is so much larger than most people realize. Pockets of it regularly appear at places like Snow Farm where people are hunting for lovely artifacts. The fairy undergrowth often tosses up a lovely horde like this marvelous set of bowls from within its roots . . . just like that.”
The discovery was coincidental to Turn and Burn, Theo Fadel’s introductory workshop on woodturning and pyrography conducted the same weekend at Snow Farm.
IN THE WOODS — A farmhouse ghost was photographed approaching 0.001% famous pyrography instructor Theo Fadel at a local arts and crafts compound near Williamsburg, Massachusetts late Sunday afternoon. The friendly spirit has been known to staff for years and sighted on numerous occasions. “Her name is Fannie. She lives in the farmhouse” said a former staff member who would not give their name. “A few years ago I stayed overnight in the farmhouse by myself” said Fadel. “It’s a little spooky. I’m pretty sure I heard someone dialing a giant telephone in the basement. I definitely did not open the door.”
Fannie is not usually seen at the dining hall and it is unclear why she was approaching the artist and pointing her finger while holding a bible. “She’s probably lost, eh?” observed a random passing dog walker. “Maybe she’s trying to find that girls’ rock and roll camp down the road” added the random dog. The Institute for the Musical Arts is headquarted in the neighboring town of Goshen and offers comprehensive rock and roll finishing for young ladies . Co-founder June Millington was also a co-founder of the 1970’s rock band “Fanny.”
“The lady with a book in her hand?” said a chipmunk whose family has been living under the dining room porch for over 200 generations. “It’s not a bible she carries. It’s more of a notebook of who’s going to get it, or something like that. Her name is Fannie Clary”
NEW ENGLAND — Theo Fadel will be teaching a workshop on how you can utilize sharp steel, fire and spinning chunks of wood in your fearless pursuit of creative achievement. No experience necessary. “boom.” TURN AND BURN, a two day extravaganza of wood turning and pyrography. March 12th and 13th at Snow Farm in Williamsburg, MA.
The 21st century — Meet Dr. Robert Fludd aka Robertus Fluctibus, the delightful gazillionth great Uncle of Theo Fadel. A physician and alchemist, in the year 1616 he was the first Englishman to comment on the Rosy Cross publications newly released in Germany. Theo has just illustrated a new edition of one of these, The Chemical Wedding. This did not come to light until after Theo finished the illustrations and she has no idea why Dr. Fluctibus is trying so hard in this image NOT to make the Vulcan sign.
“It’s not so strange,” says Theo “They often throw me a bone like this from the far side. Also, I’m known as a joker, but this one seems to be true. There’s a lot of inbreeding and complex arrangements in European ancestry, but as a child I did have extra fangs growing from the roof of my mouth. That alone confirms . . . a lot of things. And I didn’t make up the book either. Gavin at Small Beer says it’s coming out next year and I believe him.”
After four hundred years Small Beer Press is expected to release John Crowley’s new edition of The Chemical Wedding in 2016 AD.
EASTHAMPTON — A military painting “Battle of Bosworth Field” detailing Richard III’s last battle charge for all English kings in 1485 is under way at One Cottage Street in the studio of 0.0001% Famous Artist Theo Fadel. “Trash talk at the end of the line is, I feel, the essence of that pivotal moment in history. ”
HOLYOKE — Pinewood Gnome is training, seen here at Ashley Reservoir, and could return to compete in the Paper City next year. Pinewood was disqualified in 2014 for attempting to shortcut the race. He was caught by helicopter video running along the shoulder of Interstate 91 between Westfield Road and Cherry Street. Mr. Gnome would make no comment.
EASTHAMPTON — The masterwork “Lady Cholmondeley’s Mantrap” shown in this exclusive detail is nearly complete and will be premiered this fall at One Cottage Street in the studio of 0.0001% famous artist Theo Fadel.
EASTHAMPTON — An unidentified knight is being rescued from an old piece of poplar in a Cottage Street Studio. “We don’t know how he got in there” said 0.001% famous artist T. Reen Fadel who is working on the rescue “but the piece of wood is shaped kind of like a boat so maybe that has to do with anything.” The knight has a broken nose and is only three feet tall, but according to amateur forensic archaeologist Squilton Howell III “It’s not unusual, people were shorter in the past and almost everyone had a broken nose a thousand years ago.” Sharp pieces of steel are used to shave the wood away from the living knight within. “It’s fused to his skin” said Fadel. “It’s just going to take as long as it takes.”