The Price of a Hair Net

St. James Cottage, Holyoke —  On Groundhog Day Theo van Winkle-Fadel awoke to a caustic pineapple burning a hole through her 50% fairy tale kitchen, but quick thinking resulted in pineapple preserves and a potato sack on her head.

“Every New Years Day I take a nap until Ground Hog Day.  This year when I dig out the first thing I see is this smoking pineapple.  I don’t know where it came from” said Van Winkle-Fadel.  She later conceded the fruit may have been purchased during a sleep walking episode to River Valley Coop.  “What I do know is that I’ve never seen a piece of fruit with 0% natural sugar and a negative pH.”

Van Winkle-Fadel is certified in ECR (emergency culinary rescue) and moved quickly to make a pot of jam but when she reached for a chef’s hat they were all gone.  “How can you jam without a toque?” she asked.

All her culinary head wear had been stolen “by a sock elf.”  In a mad scurry to find a solution she espied a mesh bag in the potato bin.  “I have the same hat size as a five pound sack of potatoes.  That’s what saved me” she boasted smiling.

“It’s  a shame” remarked an onlooker, “she had time to get something nice.  She didn’t want to spend the money.  What’s the cost of a hair net?  The arts are a hard knock life — look, even the jam jar is only half full.”

Van Winkle-Fadel will, at least, not starve.

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Will Pinewood Gnome make bid for St. Patty’s 10k?

HOLYOKE — Pinewood Gnome is training, seen here at Ashley Reservoir, and could return to compete in the Paper City next year.  Pinewood was disqualified in 2014 for attempting to shortcut the race.  He was caught by helicopter video running along the shoulder of Interstate 91 between Westfield Road and Cherry Street.  Mr. Gnome would make no comment.

The 41st Annual St. Patrick’s Road Race is scheduled for Saturday, March 19, 2016 — the rifle goes off at 1pm sharp.

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