7.5 Billion People Invited to Party in Five Foot Wide Gallery

TURNERS FALLS, MA — The entire world has been invited to Nina’s Nook, operated by gallerista Nina Rossi in the village of Turners Falls, Massachusetts. Prints and small carvings by 0.001% famous artist Theo Fadel will be for sale through August 8.  The Nook is five feet wide.


A life size doll enjoys the garden at Nina’s Nook. Courtesy of Nina Rossi.

“There’s tonnes of space” said Tiny Dragon, a  2mm scale figurine previously featured in the Charlottean. Known as Tiny D, she is Fadel’s manager. “This used to be a hot peanut shack. It holds sixteen thousand and eight hundred short tons of peanuts. Off the top of my head, that’s twenty-four million a hundred ninety-two thousand individual naked peanuts, and change. That’s a lot of peanuts, so I don’t think it’s gonna be too crowded. I think even some walnuts could fit. I ain’t even included the alley garden out back which has no roof, so sky’s the limit. Seven and a half billion goes into sky’s-the-limit real easy because of the magic of outer space.”

The Turners Falls fish ladder and dam. Photo courtesy of Nina Rossi.

“I love Turners Falls” added Redbird, a celebrity holiday ornament from Holyoke, Massachusetts who is also managed by Tiny D. “Just yesterday I went swimming with friends in the fish ladder, and tomorrow we’re going over the falls in twelve ounce coffee cups. It’s just grand!”

The Louvre Grand Gallery, Hubert Robert, 1796.


Nina’s Nook is a true gallery. Architecturally speaking it is half room, half hallway and belongs to the same building typology as the Guggenheim Museum in New York City as well as the Grande Gallerie of the Louvre in Paris, France. The Nook, like the Louvre, transforms an old corridor into brilliant exhibition space.

The interior of Nina’s Nook

Indeed, the Nook gallery was a twentieth century alley shoppe selling roasted peanuts. Later it was the bottle depository of a candy store. Comparably, the Louvre was a twelfth century fortress. It later served as an art laden palace and artistes’ dormitory before its conversion during the French Revolution to a public exhibitorium. Details and timelines of both buildings are available on their websites.

“Nina Rossi has done something immeasurably special with this alleyway. She’s an artist and poet herself” commented Redbird. “Up here, near the Vermont border, the Connecticut River is not so wide as when it reaches the Atlantic Ocean.”

“Speaking of which,” interrupted Tiny D, “did you know that back in the day Rossi operated a fish winch on the P-town docks?”

Redbird, courtesy Tiny Dragon Enterprises.

“I did” continued Redbird, “and the reason why is that the wine-dark sea is everywhere available to whomever will brave it.”

Nina’s Nook is located at 125A, Avenue A in Turners Falls, Massachusetts. The hours are here.  The mini show of work by Theo Fadel, imperfect people, runs from July 1 through August 8. The entire world is invited to a reception July 8, 4 to 7pm. The Gallerie is closed July 4.


Fantasy Figurines Allege Fraud

Roberta Busenberg and Man-Wizard whine from the top of Bray Tower on Mt Tom which stands in myst between Easthampton and Holyoke, Massachusetts.

EASTHAMPTON — Two figurines are claiming that Tiny Dragon is a fake. Roberta Busenberg and Man-Wizard announced that “Tiny so-called Dragon is not a regulation table-top miniature!” For three hours the two screamed into a breeze and flapped air quotes with their fingers while a group of local raptors circled the tower.

“I have been in fantasy-reality since 1977” said Busenberg, “and I have never seen this so-called dragon until last week.”

Man-Wizard added “She is not an authentic table-top miniature, and she is not a dragon. She may be a counterfeit gryphon. Her wings are not normal.”

“Forget normal” chucked Busenberg, “her entire assembly is ugly. Plus, she is not made of natural metal.” The man-wizard explained “She is made from a material we call plastic which burns to a foul cinder. She could not light tobacco, much less be a dragon. We are calling upon the entire gaming world from the top of this high, vapour enveloped tower.”

The World, as it is laid from Bray Tower to the West.
Busenberg and Man-Wizard climb Bray Tower.

Busenberg and Man-Wizard are vintage table-top gaming figurines. They are cast of an imprecise lead alloy and sculpted in the imprecise and archaic scale of 1:72ish which allows one meager inch for a five to seven foot tall magic man. They live by the harsh conventions of table-top war games in which every New-English garden is a tableaux of combat and carnage.

“We are made of lead” explained Man-Wizard, “If hit very hard we may change the shape of our leaden skull, but more so we are very, very dense. We  resist change at all costs and intend to win everything.”

Within hours Tiny D held a press conference on the disco mezzanine of her BMX training facility. “Sure, I know her,” she replied when asked about Busenberg.

Tiny D speaks with reporters while Redbird works out.

“Do you know what’s lead poisoning? Busenberg’s entire brain is lead. Have you tried to call her? Half her reception is always blocked. Also, she’s got so much bismuth and tin that two hundred degrees will toast her marshmallow, and I’m talking Fahrenheit. She can’t make a muffin. Same goes for that son-of-a-bullet wizard.”

As Tiny D spoke, the celebrity-ornament Redbird was practicing in the background, riding in fast circles. He is featured in the new roadshow, Butterfly Wheels.

“If they want to believe I’m some kind of vinyl” continued Tiny D, “then they are welcome to come and roll a couple of dodecahedral dice in my front yard and find out what is hi-temperature silicone.

“Don’t think this is bad lipstick all over my face, because you would be sorry because it’s fire and blood.”

And hey, regarding if am I a gryphon, who says I’m 1:72ish scale? I am not 1:72ish scale. I am two millimeter scale which makes my beer can alone equal to eight feet tall. I stand twenty-two feet when you punch the numbers and I’m pretty sure that’s a dragon. Again, my yard is open if they want to find out.”

Tiny D was asked why her wings are not normal, as previously observed by Busenberg’s Man-Wizard. “Don’t think this is bad lipstick all over my face” she calmly replied, “because you would be sorry because it’s fire and blood.”

Redbird practices fast circles on his Sunday bike. He stars in the new road show Butterfly Wheels.

Redbird cruised up to the disco mezzanine. “Did you know,” he asked, “that miniature models make sapience possible? It takes a handful of worlds to really make it happen. I can’t explain it. I just work from magical show to magical show.”

“Yeah” added Tiny D, “I exactly just said what he’s telling you — fire and blood.”

Note: At press time Busenberg was pressing west on Route 141 towards Nashuannuck Pond and Cottage Street. Security for Butterfly Wheels has not been increased, not even a tiny bit.

Redbird on a Sunday! BMX stunt show to tour Micro-New England


Redbird does a Miami Hop. He came out for some sunshine on the Nashawannuck Pond guard rail to announce his new freestyle road show.

MICRO-NEW ENGLAND —  Sunshine Butterfly is the new freestyle road show starring local celebrity Redbird. Redbird twirled on a sparkling finger-bike made by Sunday during the opening gala at Nashawannuk Pond. The show theme song  Everybody’s Riding 1:18 Scale Finger-Bikes Because That’s What Size We Are was performed by Tree Angel and Klothespin Krewe.

“We’re really happy!” beamed Redbird taking a break, “It’s a great show and we’ll be taking it to the towns and roadside snack shacks of western New England. Come out and see us! Maybe have a french fry or a piece of popcorn.”

Sunshine Butterfly is partly sponsored by the National Endowment for the Arts in a program to increase wilderness literacy through summer stock theatre. Many country mice and bluebirds have never seen a plastic-velveteen bird, neither have they read the word “Sunday” which is printed in plumped up Century Schoolbook  across the frame of Redbird’s bike. Redbird himself is working for free. “I’m doing it for the small, illiterate, rural animals and also for the seasonal ornaments that want to get a little summertime work. The Christmas tree hasn’t raised wages in ten years and it’s tough for them.”

Tiny D of Triple-D Entertainment at home in Chiccopee Falls, 1971, Charlottean staff photo.

The show is produced by Triple-D Entertainment of Holyoke. “Triple-D means what it looks like,” said the owner in a phone interview with the Charlottean, “It’s an entertainment company.” Tiny D (Tiny Dragon) is of unknown origin, but has quickly established herself in the contentious world of seasonal show business. “I created this show because the summer is boring” she continued, “It’s stupid in the storage closet after Christmas. There’s strings of lights half of them burned out, and you have to crawl out anyway when you want any tiny tall-boy beers.” Describing the show she said “I just make stuff up and these unemployed holiday ornaments sing a little song and we got a show.”

When asked about the performance schedule for Sunshine Butterfly Ms. D replied “There ain’t no schedule. Either you’re lucky or you’re not, but I got most of the Saint James Avenue Holiday Tree ornaments signed on until Labor Day. It’s insane. So, if you’re lucky  I think you’re gonna be pretty lucky.”


Fancy Ghost Beaten to No Avail by Madding Crowd

showboatHOLYOKE — A fancy ghost was attacked early this morning  by a mob of miniature pumpkin gourd people. “I am completely unscathed” said Fancy Ghost “because I’m a hundred percent neutrinos. I wouldn’t have noticed they were hacking at me except you came over and told me. I was too busy fancy-dancing”.

It is unclear why the crowd became hostile. “Don’t like it!” howled one miniature-pumpkin-head. Another slowly swang a cocktail fork while glaring at the happy Ghost.

Redbird, file photo

“These are gourd people, Gordians,” explained the popular Christmas ornament Redbird. “Fast footwork confuses and frightens them. They have only a thin layer of wax to protect against rot and fading and they rarely avoid the compost pile for more than one season. They live on what they can make at Halloween. No one hires them at Thanksgiving.”

“Showboat!” someone shouted, throwing a handful of wet seeds at, through the ghost.

“Fancy Ghosts have easy lives” continued Redbird, “They never rot and they get all the work they want from Halloween through Dicken’s Christmas.”

The ghost had resumed dancing. “I’m just trying to be seen!” it cheerfully said to the crowd, “That’s what ghosts do!”

“Would it kill it to look at someone else?” sighed Redbird, “It’s already a ghost.”

At press time the ghost was still dancing and the crowd still trying to punish it with toothpicks and pickle forks. Nothing is expected to change anytime soon.


HECATE takes control of dining table from Lundi Gras clubs, Cites Chinese New Year

THE DINING ROOM, MA — Hecate “Queen Maud” of House of Tortie has occupied the main table dressed in a paper dragon suit in a bid for some Chinese New Year.  In a written statement the blond tortie queen says “What? Lundi Gras is a second shelf holiday, ridiculous. After I set off some fireworks on the buffet and run around the room in this dragon bag, then you can have your clothespin Lundi Gras. Whatever, nobody knows where bald-ass Redbird is anyway. I love you.”  Negotiations are ongoing.



Will the St. James Carnival have a King this year?

LundiGrasStJamesMagical Forest, MA — It’s Lundi Gras and many are concerned if Kwing Redbird can serve again as King of Ornaments. His recent assault at a  yard squirrel party is still under investigation. As of 4pm today St. James Infirmary would not comment on his condition.

In defiance of snow and uncertainty the welcome party has already started.  Krewe of Klothespins, a carnival club of wooden clothespin ornaments, left work early to party on the front walk.

“The Kwing!” sang two ornaments in toe deep snow.  A small flying ship arrives with the Kwing sometime after dark and the revelry will continue all night until 9am when work starts. Work starts because it’s New England.

“We will not know who is on the Holiday Boat until it floats from the cold night through the open window and into the warm goldenness of St. James Cottage. When it lands on the table to deliver the maple syrup, then we will see  . . . we’ll see who’s on the boat” whispered Dr. Windup Chicken-Eggtimer.

Tomorrow The Big Parade starts at 5pm sharp. Pancake and bacon feastivities will continue until midnight tolls the beginning of Lent.



Popular Tree Ornament and Local Do-Gooder ATTACKED — Assailant at Large!

If you recognize this person please contact the St. James Sheriff.

WINTER WONDERLAND — Friend of yard squirrels and popular ornament Redbird was smacked down while partying at a pop up holiday table on the grounds of St. James Cottage. Redbird is in stable condition at a secure location inside the cottage.  Celebrated Christmas ornament and close friend Tree Angel was at the scene and rode in the ambulance with the victim. There are unconfirmed reports that Catnip Mouse was also injured in the scuffle.

  • Redbird after attack at St. James.
  • Redbird at hospital with friends and medical staff.

St. James Cottage is home to SCFB, Redbird’s  philoskiouropy that provides food to under-served yard squirrels. Earlier today the organization set up a holiday table to feed and encourage yard squirrels during the snowfall.  A large scurry of squirrels was waiting for an appearance by Tree Angel when an unidentified assailant charged and flipped Redbird onto his back yanking his anchor wires out of the pebbled ground. “The holiday table was completely ruined” moaned one honey bear.  Upper Pond where the attack occurred is in lock-down at least through rush feeding hours this evening.

St. James Cottage is also home to the House of Tortie, a syndicat of unspecified but active and often ham fisted purpose .  The sheriff would not confirm whether any tortoiseshell female cats had also been involved in the attack.  An investigation is underway.  If you have any information please contact the St. James Sheriff at StJamesSheriff@theofadel.com



Redbird Pays It Forward

Winter Wonderland — Popular Christmas ornament “Redbird” has established a snow-time food table for yard squirrels.  Redbird is also the founder of the Small Critter Food Bank (SCFB). On this snowy Friday morning he has set up his table of cheer beside the Upper Pond on the grounds of St. James Cottage.

“I make a good living sitting on the tree every year.  I just wanted to share, a little” said Redbird as he squared up some walnuts.

The recent influx of high quality homemade pineapple jam at St. James has resulted in large donations of store bought jams and preserves at SCFB.  Toast and walnuts are also on the table.

Why squirrels?

“My heritage  is mostly grouse, duck and petroleum” explains Redbird, “but  my mother had a small fur tuft and always bragged that it was grey squirrel.  I enjoy the company of squirrels. I admire their work ethic.  We’re trying to make a little holiday for them here.”

If you’re making the dash, get there early.  Scurries are expected when Tree Angel stops by to make a brief glitter this afternoon.