The Price of a Hair Net

St. James Cottage, Holyoke —  On Groundhog Day Theo van Winkle-Fadel awoke to a caustic pineapple burning a hole through her 50% fairy tale kitchen, but quick thinking resulted in pineapple preserves and a potato sack on her head.

“Every New Years Day I take a nap until Ground Hog Day.  This year when I dig out the first thing I see is this smoking pineapple.  I don’t know where it came from” said Van Winkle-Fadel.  She later conceded the fruit may have been purchased during a sleep walking episode to River Valley Coop.  “What I do know is that I’ve never seen a piece of fruit with 0% natural sugar and a negative pH.”

Van Winkle-Fadel is certified in ECR (emergency culinary rescue) and moved quickly to make a pot of jam but when she reached for a chef’s hat they were all gone.  “How can you jam without a toque?” she asked.

All her culinary head wear had been stolen “by a sock elf.”  In a mad scurry to find a solution she espied a mesh bag in the potato bin.  “I have the same hat size as a five pound sack of potatoes.  That’s what saved me” she boasted smiling.

“It’s  a shame” remarked an onlooker, “she had time to get something nice.  She didn’t want to spend the money.  What’s the cost of a hair net?  The arts are a hard knock life — look, even the jam jar is only half full.”

Van Winkle-Fadel will, at least, not starve.

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