Backside of the Clubhouse
Category: Arts
7.5 Billion People Invited to Party in Five Foot Wide Gallery
TURNERS FALLS, MA — The entire world has been invited to Nina’s Nook, operated by gallerista Nina Rossi in the village of Turners Falls, Massachusetts. Prints and small carvings by 0.001% famous artist Theo Fadel will be for sale through August 8. The Nook is five feet wide.
“There’s tonnes of space” said Tiny Dragon, a 2mm scale figurine previously featured in the Charlottean. Known as Tiny D, she is Fadel’s manager. “This used to be a hot peanut shack. It holds sixteen thousand and eight hundred short tons of peanuts. Off the top of my head, that’s twenty-four million a hundred ninety-two thousand individual naked peanuts, and change. That’s a lot of peanuts, so I don’t think it’s gonna be too crowded. I think even some walnuts could fit. I ain’t even included the alley garden out back which has no roof, so sky’s the limit. Seven and a half billion goes into sky’s-the-limit real easy because of the magic of outer space.”
“I love Turners Falls” added Redbird, a celebrity holiday ornament from Holyoke, Massachusetts who is also managed by Tiny D. “Just yesterday I went swimming with friends in the fish ladder, and tomorrow we’re going over the falls in twelve ounce coffee cups. It’s just grand!”
Nina’s Nook is a true gallery. Architecturally speaking it is half room, half hallway and belongs to the same building typology as the Guggenheim Museum in New York City as well as the Grande Gallerie of the Louvre in Paris, France. The Nook, like the Louvre, transforms an old corridor into brilliant exhibition space.
Indeed, the Nook gallery was a twentieth century alley shoppe selling roasted peanuts. Later it was the bottle depository of a candy store. Comparably, the Louvre was a twelfth century fortress. It later served as an art laden palace and artistes’ dormitory before its conversion during the French Revolution to a public exhibitorium. Details and timelines of both buildings are available on their websites.
“Nina Rossi has done something immeasurably special with this alleyway. She’s an artist and poet herself” commented Redbird. “Up here, near the Vermont border, the Connecticut River is not so wide as when it reaches the Atlantic Ocean.”
“Speaking of which,” interrupted Tiny D, “did you know that back in the day Rossi operated a fish winch on the P-town docks?”
“I did” continued Redbird, “and the reason why is that the wine-dark sea is everywhere available to whomever will brave it.”
Nina’s Nook is located at 125A, Avenue A in Turners Falls, Massachusetts. The hours are here. The mini show of work by Theo Fadel, imperfect people, runs from July 1 through August 8. The entire world is invited to a reception July 8, 4 to 7pm. The Gallerie is closed July 4.
Visit the Cottage Street Art Zoo this Weekend, or next
Easthampton — Cottage Street Art Zoo is open and displaying caged art works this weekend and next, to . . . well, anybody really. Art works range from friendly to ferocious but all are caged so no worries. Studio number 428 on the canal side is open Saturday and Sunday and will contain Theo Fadel; woodblock prints; some drawings, pastels and paintings; sculpture carved of wood; a few relief carvings; small wooden dolls or effigies as you please; a book The Chemical Wedding by Christian Rosencreutz in a new edition by John Crowley illustrated by Theo Fadel; sketches and drawings from the aforementioned book; something else; and otherwhat.
One Cottage Street in Easthampton, Massachusetts: Saturday, December 3, 10AM to 5PM; Sunday December 4, Noon to 5PM; and again on Saturday December 10, 10AM to 5PM.
A Party for the Chemical Wedding, Tonite! 7pm at the Forgotten Brewery!
Tonite! At The Forgotten Brewery in Easthampton! 7pm!
Besides a reading by the marvelous Mr. John Crowley, there will be a few pencils and inks from the illustration work on display for your viewing pleasure.
Fancy Ghost Beaten to No Avail by Madding Crowd
HOLYOKE — A fancy ghost was attacked early this morning by a mob of miniature pumpkin gourd people. “I am completely unscathed” said Fancy Ghost “because I’m a hundred percent neutrinos. I wouldn’t have noticed they were hacking at me except you came over and told me. I was too busy fancy-dancing”.
It is unclear why the crowd became hostile. “Don’t like it!” howled one miniature-pumpkin-head. Another slowly swang a cocktail fork while glaring at the happy Ghost.
“These are gourd people, Gordians,” explained the popular Christmas ornament Redbird. “Fast footwork confuses and frightens them. They have only a thin layer of wax to protect against rot and fading and they rarely avoid the compost pile for more than one season. They live on what they can make at Halloween. No one hires them at Thanksgiving.”
“Showboat!” someone shouted, throwing a handful of wet seeds at, through the ghost.
“Fancy Ghosts have easy lives” continued Redbird, “They never rot and they get all the work they want from Halloween through Dicken’s Christmas.”
The ghost had resumed dancing. “I’m just trying to be seen!” it cheerfully said to the crowd, “That’s what ghosts do!”
“Would it kill it to look at someone else?” sighed Redbird, “It’s already a ghost.”
At press time the ghost was still dancing and the crowd still trying to punish it with toothpicks and pickle forks. Nothing is expected to change anytime soon.
Vulcan Ambassador tours Micro-Gnome villages
MICROGNOMIA — Not for Vulcans this region where violet stems are lumber and money grows in tiny magical chamber pots at the ends of garden sprinkler rainbows — until now. T’ikun-tok is the new and first ambassador from the planet Vulcan to MicroGnomia. She is crawling across the region on her hands and knees in a goodwill tour, passing out gourmet fungi while passing the Vulcan Peace. Villagers at first confused have quickly learned to “make the Vee thingy” in hope of a chanterelle tossed their way.
“She rolled me a white truffle the size of my head” exclaimed Seamus O’Sark whose last name means “honorable beetle” in Vulcan. “I can curl my tongue too! But she dinna give me anything for it.”
The Vulcans long ago gave up their elving ways and can neither mine nor manufacture humor and cuteness. “It’s impossible to create successful ad campaigns for useless kitchen appliances and unnecessary medications without something cute and maybe funny” explained Spockton Hulala, a Vulcan trader now based in Carbon Creek, Pennsylvania. Vulcan is one of the Milky Way’s largest manufacturers of single cup coffee makers and repositioned pharmaceuticals, neither of which can be sold to Humans without the use of hypnosis. Industry experts have long warned that without a reliable source of buffoonium the Vulcan economy will collapse.
Buffoonium is an inexplicable element used in hypnotic constructions. It saturates the ground in all of MicroGnomia. “Every citizen of MicroGnomia is a miniature buffoonium mine” quiped Ambassador T’ikun-tok, “We want to be friends.”
“Is this a sincere overture to law abiding trade, or is it the start o’ an invasion?” shouted a small figure in a fancy jacket atop a tall, swaying tower of twigs.
O’Sark lightly scraped a tooth across his truffle then paused. “She’s an awfully big boned lass” he ventured as the Vulcan ambassador moved along down the tiny highway, “but look how she’s got the ears of an angel.”
Full steam the Chemical Wedding
Thank you, you 1,327 lovely people who funded the kickstarter for fancy shoes and ribbons on John Crowley’s the Chemical Wedding by Christian Rosencreutz , and for a very nice pie from the Florence Pie Bar. Small Beer Press will deliver the book this fall. There are go-go dancing robots, because it’s illustrated by Theo Fadel.
A darn good portfolio shot!
