ST. JAMES COTTAGE, HOLYOKE — On Groundhog Day Theo van Winkle-Fadel awoke to a caustic pineapple burning a hole through her 50% fairy tale kitchen, but quick thinking resulted in pineapple preserves and a potato sack on her head.
“Every New Years Day I take a nap until Ground Hog Day. This year when I dig out the first thing I see is this smoking pineapple. I don’t know where it came from” said Van Winkle-Fadel. She later conceded the fruit may have been purchased during a sleep walking episode to River Valley Coop. “What I do know is that I’ve never seen a piece of fruit with 0% natural sugar and a negative pH.”
Van Winkle-Fadel is certified in ECR (emergency culinary rescue) and moved quickly to make a pot of jam but when she reached for a chef’s hat they were all gone. “How can you jam without a toque?” she asked.
All her culinary head wear had been stolen “by a sock elf.” In a mad scurry to find a solution she espied a mesh bag in the potato bin. “I have the same hat size as a five pound sack of potatoes. That’s what saved me” she boasted smiling.
“It’s a shame” remarked an onlooker, “she had time to get something nice. She didn’t want to spend the money. What’s the cost of a hair net? The arts are a hard knock life — look, even the jam jar is only half full.”
Van Winkle-Fadel will, at least, not starve.