Cat Forecloses on House

NEARBY – A tortoiseshell house cat has claimed her own house.  Rosie “Lil’ Baby” Fadel filed a notice of default with the Hampden County Raccoon of Deeds last Tuesday while her human guardians were out of town, but there is no auction.  The chocolate tortie says she intends to live in the house herself.  “We have right of residence” observed one of her human caretakers, “but in the eyes of the law it’s not enough to keep her out of the big bed”.

Gnome Breaches Nashawannuck Pond

EASTHAMPTON — Early this morning a clay gnome escaped from a high security studio  by sliding through a plumbing waste pipe into the One Cottage Street canal.  Police believe he is walking along the bottom of Nashawannuck Pond toward the Platinum Pony’s backyard booze deck.   Residents of the nearby condominium development are advised to stay inside forever until something else happens.